I feel that there are not so many art motivational/ inspiration youtube channels in Portuguese like the one of Stephen Silver and Will Terry, I like very much the work that Henrique Lyra, Bate-Papo ilustrado and Mary Cagnin are doing talking about the art market and how to start but mostly of the people teach, do speed painting and talk about art supplies (which is great too, please don’t stop doing if you are doing it) .
I understand that is very hard to open yourself and be vunerable and the funny thing is that I find much easier talking about vunerable things in other language than Portuguese. LOL I’d love to be have someone that do that kind of work that these American guys do for the Brazilian public that I felt this year back there that is very naive and think art jobs are just glamourous, luck or they are impossible (I know because that’s what I think) of but I don’t feel confident or successfully enough to do this now, well maybe someday, why not? For now I will write to myself and for who find this blog.
“Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”
I think this quote is very strong and empowering, every change in our life starts from a though, that becames habits and it moldes who you are. You are what you do every day.
Is it hard to change? Yes, and it requires motivation and consistence but like everything in life it’s not impossible.
I want to talk about my personal experiences though I am still very shy and insecure (and this is somethings I’m currently working on and I already improuve a lot)
I had some bad experiences in my carrer, some failures that I’m glad that they occured and made me much stronger, I don’t like to remember but passing through the struggle it makes you much and stronger.
On my college days, the last years I felt really confused I was studying art and working at IBM at the same time and I was prioritizing work much more than my study. Why? Though I wasnt passioned about my work I was learning a lot of French and English, that I knew it was good for my future I loved to see friends there, I earned money to pay college and a lot of clothes and I didn’t see any value on the things I was studying on college, things like how to be a school teacher, artsy fartsy stuff etc, actually I hated the subjects, collegues and professors and I started to not like art and drawing as much I did in high school that I arrived home everyday and passed the whole afternoon drawing all these cute and naives anime scenes but I am very thankful that it did happened, I mean college, college was a blessing because made me much more mature, see other things of art in Art history classes and of course gave amazing friends and some great professors that already changed my life for good.
My biggest struggle in college was the fear of judgement, specially from people that had prejudge with illustration and manga, because maybe my own prejudge myself, I felt this all my life, it started with my familly, I love my parents and they are super supportive now days but it wasnt always like these, I was so ashamed of my manga drawings that I couldn’t defend my point, I felt like I was being pointting fingers all the time, I know it was much bigger in my head than it was in reality, my group of friends didn’t give a f* for the rest of people but I was frighthened, I was so embaressed! The bully that traumatize m in school days was nothing compared to that but probably helped the fear of feeling this again and on opposite of school that made want to draw more and more to hide myself in this world of cartoon, it made me ashamed of my art, not that I proud of it, no, I will die if anyone see my drawings in school only in high school that I was learning portraits people were more interested about my drawings, and I was happy to go to school with my big A3 drawing folder in hands to school before my manga classes.
Anyway the peak of this was in the last year were a woman wrote an email for the whole classes complaining about college and call me and my group of friends “mangazeiras” I never really read this email but my friends was pissed I was totally nuts when I knew that, it was like “Am I wrong doing this college to become an illustrator?!” I went to talk with her, I never happened to talk to anybody but I needed and it was great, I expose her what I wanted, I talked with teachers about this too and I realize that was it, I want to draw.
In the last year with the internet and books like “Illustration Now” I met the work of Fernanda Guedes, Glen Hanson, Marguerite Sauvage and Alexandra Compain-Tissier and it opened my eyes to see that is possible to make a living drawing, not only teaching art. I wanted to do my thesis about Fashion Illustration but I still so ashamed, still confused, so shy and other personal problems that I choke on my presentation, literally I could speak, I cried in front of everybody. hehehe I am so happy I overcome this, I mean, not completely, I am still very shy and sometimes I can not speak to myself but I changed so much and I am happy that I passed thru this otherwise I would never know what I really want for life. 🙂
This is a personal work that I did last year but for me now it is my thesis, the one that I wish to present proudly in 2007, but it’s never too late to do so and now I can do without anyone bugging me to do, doing it by pleasure, consistently. http://cpicheco.com/?portfolio=street-style